


They Say We Are Asleep Until We Fall In Love

by CameronNightshade



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Human!Castiel - Freeform, Lots of tears, Tears, did i write this at 4:30 am??, yes i did because im sad af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 13:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12912981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CameronNightshade/pseuds/CameronNightshade
Summary: Castiel and Reader have broken up. Reader is trying to figure out what she should do now.





	They Say We Are Asleep Until We Fall In Love

I always tried to see the good in things. Wanted to be optimistic even if that wasn’t the right things to do. But what do you do when the one that you love, doesn’t know if they want you back?

Castiel sat across the table from me. His eyes stared at the dark wood of the table. I had a glass of water in front of me. 

“Do you even like me anymore?” I asked, breaking the silence we had. 

He looked up from the spot he was staring at, instead focusing his gaze onto me. “Yeah, I do.”

Tears started to form in my eyes. “You mentioned before we broke up that we might get back together once you found yourself or whatever,” I started. “And you mentioned at the beginning of this conversation that you are content with your life and have everything that you want,” the tears flowed down my face. I never wanted to have this conversation, but I also knew I couldn’t handle this anymore. “And I’m not really in your life any more.”

Cas continued to look at me. I could see the hurt in his eyes as I talked. I never wanted this. I never wanted him to be hurt.

“Should I even be waiting for you? Is there a chance, currently, that we will get back together?” I questioned him.

His eyes glanced off towards the window and he straightened his back. “I can’t answer that for you. It's your decision, not mine. And I can’t tell the future, I don’t know if we will or not.”

I gripped the glass in front of me even tighter. I get that he doesn’t want to influence my decision, but this is just frustrating. 

“I’m aware that it’s my decision. And I know that I will probably wait for you. Again. I can’t promise I will wait forever though. We all know that I’ll take you back in a heartbeat if you just ask,” I said. I don’t know how I haven’t slapped him yet. 

“Yeah,” Cas replied.

I scoffed. ‘Yeah.’ Of course that’s all he has to say to me. The day that he actually ever tells me anything or says anything that helps will be the day that hell freezes over. He’s like a fucking brick wall sometimes. 

Part of me is saying that I shouldn’t wait for him, because it would appear that he has found himself and according to him, he his happy with everything and has everything that he wants. And I’m no longer in his life in that way, and if he truly wanted me, he would ask for me again. 

But also, part of me is saying to wait for him. He mentioned that he still has feelings for me. I just don’t know if thats all I can go off of though. He and I broke up 2 weeks ago and it feels like a year. I truly love him and I haven’t loved anyone like this in a while. 

He and I get along so well and there was nothing wrong with the relationship. The only reason that we broke up was so that he can go find himself and now that he has found himself and he is apparently happy with where he is in his life, why hasn’t he come back?

“Is that really all you have to say? Just ‘yeah’? Am I wasting my time waiting for you?” I cry. 

“I don’t know. Are you?” he said.

I stood up. “What the hell, Cas? You aren’t my fucking psychiatrist. You’re my friend. Just be straight up with me dammit,” I stare into his eyes.

“I can’t answer your question. It’s your decision, not mine.”

I huffed. “Yeah, so you said.”

I turned around and started walking to the door, pacing back and forth. I don’t know how I haven’t broken down into complete sobs or how I haven’t hit him yet. “I don’t want to be waiting if there’s not even a chance,” I mention, not really to anyone in particular. 

I hear Cas’ chair move against the floor and footsteps walking towards me. Cas grabs my by my shoulders and turns me around.

Tears are flowing down my face. I just can’t handle this anymore. I’ve tried to be strong through all of this, and now I’m failing. “The only reasons why I haven’t asked you out again is because I don’t currently have the self esteem to do it myself nor do I know if you even want a relationship with me anymore. I love you so much, but I can’t do this anymore,” I back up, his hands falling from my shoulders. “I’m sorry. But I just can’t handle this anymore. If you want me in your life in the way that I want to be in yours, then you’ll let me know. But until then, goodbye Castiel.”

I turned around and walked out the door, refusing to look back. Tears fell freely down my face, no longer able to even try to be able to stop them from flowing. They say we are asleep until we fall in love. But honestly, I just want to go back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 for helping me through this shitty time. Sorry if this seems a little rushed, I wrote it at 4:30 am after a conversation with my ex. Now I go to bed.


End file.
